Well- if anyone was wondering how the 3rd night went with Max's sleeping....it didn't go so well. Max was up twice that night! Terrible after 2 nights of him sleeping 10 hours straight- but at least I had 2 restful nights, right?! So last night, I went to bed not even thinking about what I was going to do if he woke up, I was just hoping for a good nights rest. Max had a perfect schedule yesterday and went to bed with plenty in his belly. 2:30 a.m. rolls around and he is up crying wanting to eat. I was so frustrated and didn't know what to do. This is the time he used to wake up when he was just tiny- why this again? All of his younger friends and cousins are sleeping longer than this--what is the deal? Well- back to my story....on the spur of the moment, I decided to let him "cry it out". Of course I was thinking that this meant about 30 minutes or torture- but little did I know that he would cry for an HOUR and a HALF! Poor little boy! I couldn't back out in the middle of this as it would have made everything worse. It broke my heart to pieces and pieces. His whole life so far all he knows is that if he cries, mommy will be right there. I felt so cruel listening to his loud cries turn into weak little sighs, and then a cry every 3 minutes just to make sure I knew he wasn't happy. He finally fell asleep- but I was left wide awake filled with guilt. I got out of bed and got online and read tons of positive feedback on teaching your children how to sleep by crying it out. I felt much better afterward and we all slept in this morning until just before 8. As I walked into Max's room this morning, he was sideways in his crib and smiling the biggest smile ever. I guess he still loves me- I only hope that tonight isn't as hard :) Wish me luck!
Below is something I read in the middle of the night that made me feel better about the whole situation- I don't know who said it, but I love them :)
" The fact that you care so much about your son's discomfort should be all the proof you need that you are a loving mom!! Showing love for your child does not mean that your child will always be happy, or always get exactly what he wants. He had short term discomfort, moving to a new way of sleeping and soothing himself. You did this so he could have long term success in sleeping, and that your family could have long term success in balancing everyone's need to sleep to function. Please please please don't feel guilty about that. It is completely natural to hate for your son to have any pain or sadness, however momentary it is (e.g. during a ''cry it out'' transition). So maybe you could let yourself feel SAD that this was necessary (because it was hard). But don't feel GUILTY. You were making the decision out of love for your son, and out of the goal to make an environment where everyone gets enough sleep so they can be the best for each other. Anyone who tells you differently (in my opinion) is being ridiculous -- for example, if your daughter was 10 and wanted the keys to the car because it would make her happy, would you give them to her? What if she cried about it for an hour? What if she cried about it every day after school for an hour for a week? The point is (obviously) that sometimes you need to set boundaries so that your child is safe and your family can function. A 10 yr old who wants the keys to the car is asking for something unreasonable. I think it is also fair to say that at some point, an older infant who requires mommy to be up multiple times a night is asking for something unreasonable. You sometimes have to say ''no,'' and set boundaries, in order to protect your child and help them learn to live in the world in a way that is positive. I really hope that you don't feel like anyone would ''flame'' you for your decision. I cannot imagine the audacity and silliness that would be involved in that kind of judgment. You are a good loving mom who is sad that it was hard for her son to learn to sleep through the night on his own. Nothing more, nothing less!
You need sleep to love!"
